DY: War Czar Found!

Defective Yeti

After weeks of searching, The Bush Administration has finally found a candidate for the newly created position of War Czar. General Alexander Mullen accepted the offer earlier this morning, and immediately performed his one and only duty: accepted full responsibility for the bungled efforts in Iraq and offered his resignation. To the surprise of Rove, Cheney, and the others who had engineered the plan, Bush unexpectedly rejected Mullen's resignation, and vowed to resist all calls to let the General go. "The Mullman has been doing a heck of a job in his three hours of Czaring," the president said at an early afternoon press conference, "he's a good American, and I stand by him." Mullen--who was hastily given a cubicle, desk, and computer--is expected to play minesweeper until the troop pullout begins in January of 2009.