Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Torture Suggestion

I can't figure out whether I'm suprised by this or not, but Christians (tm) tend to support the idea of torture more than the general public ( read: those f*cking secular heritics).

Yes, the Peace and Love Club throws thousands of years of Jesus's teachings out the window the second some fuzzy foreigner shows up in the dock.

Yeah, no suprise.

What I find interesting is that even close relatives of mine (those I always hoped would know better) hold the simultaneously conflicting views that:

A) Japanese torture of Americans during WWII was wrong and has been detrimental to Japanese-Everyone Else relations for 60+ years. America should learn from this and not torture.

B) Torturing "terrorists" is ok.

"Terrorists" (in practice, anyway) being loosely defined as anyone the President doesn't like.

So I have a suggestion: Though the current administration didn't exactly pass science class (without a few greased palms that is) I think this whole torture ethics debate should be tested scientifically.

Let's find out, once and for all, whether Rush Limbaugh is right that torture works.
Let's collect all the folks that support torture, throw them in jail and torture the shit out of them. Let's see what kind of information we can glean from them.

Yeah, the little cruds will probably dump their National ID Numbers (SSNs) at the first knife cut, but I'm sure there's other stuff hiding in there that could prove helpful to national security. No doubt at least two of them have some ideas on how to better torture people. Let's wail on them until they give up the goods.

Sure, to be a more scientific study, we should have a control group who isn't tortured and see how much information we can glean from them in other, non-torture ways. Say, through Nigerian e-mail scams and "discount vuIagr*" (sic) ads.

Finally, for those that argue "But our President doesn't support torture. Those were a few bad apples!" - why, oh why did Bush and Cheney lobby so hard to keep torture from being made illegal?

If the "ticking A bomb in the metropolis" scenario were to actually happen I'm sure there'd be no lack of CIA types willing to sacrifice their own freedom and go to jail for torturing that hypothical mastermind that knows exactly where the bomb is. Heck, we hire entire details of guys in suits who *volunteer* to take bullets for the Pres any time of day. Why wouldn't someone be willing to spend a little jail time to save an entire city? Sounds like a true hero to me.

No comments: